Unf*cking Inspired ( 6 steps to help you during a funk )

Unf*cking Inspired ( 6 steps to help you during a funk )

Roxane Lavoie on 25th Aug 2022

Unf*cking Inspired (6 steps to help you during a funk)

Are you, or have you ever been just uninspired? I'm not talking one day you wake up and don't feel like doing anything. I'm talking legit unf*cking inspired. That's happening with me right now and I have no idea how the fuck I'm going to overcome this, and I'm not gonna lie, I'm kinda scared. And since I don't know how I will overcome this, I can't offer you advice on how to overcome being uninspired. But what I can do is help you while you are in this weird-ass foreign state with 6 things you need to make sure you do when you're in a funk in my opinion. Before we get started, let me tell you a bit about me and why I think I can help you. Oh, just an FYI, I'm not a medical doctor, so don't substitute this for professional medical advice.

I've always been a happy joyful human, optimistic, go-getter, self-learner, thriving for success and to be better every day. I won the Optimist of the Year award for fuck's sake. I even have the plaque to prove it. I ran a multi-million dollar business with my ex-husband, raised two beautiful successful kids, I managed 75 employees at one time, lost 50 lbs and became in love with fitness, I mustered up the courage to leave my ex-husband and his business to start my next life chapter, met my now current husband, worked for him for a while, then decided to take another leap of faith and start my own business in personal training to help others with their fitness. I wrote and published a book to help others who need direction in fitness, motivation and self-worth, which at the same time I thought was going to catapult my business success and bring me to another level. I get up early in the mornings and I read books every single day. I love to be in my own head with my thoughts, I love long walks, exercising, socializing, helping others is (or used to be) my passion... until one day I woke up and it wasn't. If I were to describe myself right now, I would say that there's an imposter that's taken over me and I need to fight him off. Don't be asking me any thought provoking, life inspiring questions because my answers will be: "I don't fucking know" and "I don't give a fuck". But really, I DO give a fuck, I just can't tap into those thoughts right now. So, other than trying to convince myself that dying to start over isn't worth it, because I really don't want to live in the next generation, here's what I am finding helpful during this time, which might help you too:

1) Go for a God damn walk

I know it sucks, but you need it. Look, I know... I would rather sit in my bed, drink wine and eat cheese curds all night to forget my problems too, but that's not helpful and it won't make you get over it. Drinking alcohol will actually cause you to not sleep well and then good fucking luck when it's 2:30am and you're in your thoughts that you did such a great job suppressing with that bottle of wine you drank 4 hours ago. Have fun the next day when you have to pretend to be cheery in front of everyone so that no one is onto you and your weird inexplicable sadness. So, get off your ass, dress accordingly, get outside and go for a walk. I don't care if it's a 10 minute walk, a 30 minute walk or a 2 hour walk, just go for one. While you're miserably moving those legs of yours, look at the birds, the cars, the trees, the leaves, make eye contact with other people, count how many dogs you see during your walk, or birds, or whatever. Give your brain a break from all your idiotic negative self talk that keeps saying "What the fuck is wrong with you?" "You're the only one feeling this way!" "You have no reason to be sad and uninspired!" and whatever else you're saying. Smell the fresh air and give your brain a break. Just so you know what to expect, not all your walks will feel refreshing. I walked 8 kms one day and it was the worst walk ever! I kept saying to myself "Why am I walking? This is so stupid, this sucks, I don't feel like it, I'm cold, my life sucks, I can't even afford braces for my kids, I can't wait to get home so I can go to bed" and so on. But, after the walk was over, I felt a smidge of a bit better. Then the next walk was better, and the next one, and the next one. Change your scenery if you have to, just keep fucking doing it every single day.

2) Let your friends help you

Yupp, even if you do a fantastic job at hiding the fact that you're feeling sad and uninspired, you ain't fooling no one dude. Your friends are going to catch-on and when they do, the absolute worst thing you can do is lie to your friends or family. When people checked-up on me, I would say something like "Hi, I'm not ignoring you, I'm just sad and need some time to process this because I don't really know why I'm sad but I mostly just feel... empty." and whatever else I said. I found that my friends respected my space but also would check-in on me and even asked me if they could take me out for a walk. I agreed because I love my friends and they love me, and if it were me, I would show-up at this person's house and take them out for a walk. My co-workers know that I love to go for walks, so they would ask me to take them for a walk in my favourite walking spots. Even my daughter and her amazing boyfriend were concerned about me and they offered to play scrabble with me or whatever game I loved to play, or watch a movie or tv show with me. They are the ones who are responsible for my love for the show Lucifer on Netflix. My sister listens to me cry every once in a while, or lets me vent on messenger. She doesn't judge me. No one judges you, they just love you and want to help you. So accept help because even if you don't think it'll help, it will. And you can set parameters on discussions too you know. I would say: "Ok, I'll go for a walk with you but let's talk about anything other than my sadness, and don't ask me any thought provoking questions please." Your friends will respect that. Lean on them because that's what friends are for.

3) Order something on Amazon

I'm not one for retail therapy. I actually hate spending money. I have all the clothes I need, I have all the underwear and bras I need... I'm good, really. I love the feeling of new socks though, but I don't need new socks, so forget it. My husband is the one who shops enough for the 6 of us, so I don't need to shop. But, I decided to finesse a brand new ipad that my husband purchased - get this - 7 MONTHS AGO, and has been paying a data plan for since then and never even took it out of the box yet. When I asked him where the ipad was that he purchased before Christmas and that I haven't seen him use yet, he said: "well, I had plans for that ipad." I was like: "Dude please! You bought it because it was 'on sale' 7 months ago and so whatever plans you had for it are invalid now because you haven't used it and, well, I want it. So, can I borrow it, and whenever you want it back, I'll gladly give it back to you, kk?" He never told me where the ipad was, it was my mom and I who found it hiding in our closet under a pile of his socks. Yoink! Thank you very much. I might sound mean here but if you know my husband and all the stuff he buys because it's "on sale" and all the "plans" he has for it, and the stuff stays in the box for 4 years or more, you'd understand. Like that garage door opener that he bought from Costco 4 Christmases ago and never installed. It's still in the box... probably will never be used. No judgement here, I'm laughing at the situation. Everyone has their quirks and that's his. Makes for giving Christmas gifts and birthday gifts easy for me... until he caught me re-gifting his deck lights that he bought 2 years ago, when we don't even have a deck. LOL!! Anyways, now that I've validated the steal... back to the ipad. I used to have one of my husband's old used ipads before it became too old and now it just doesn't work well anymore. I loved my ipad and especially the keyboard. I went about a year and a half trying so hard to make it work, but it just kept glitching and making me frustrated. So, when I finessed his new ipad, I ordered a super cool pink illuminated keyboard for it off Amazon. I was sooooo excited about this keyboard I couldn't wait to get it and use it. My fingers are small so I love typing on these small keyboards. My previous ipad and keyboard is actually what I used to write my entire 120 page book. So when I received my keyboard, I felt like my excited self again and now I'm using it to type this note just for you. My point is, order something that your usual self would be excited about. It doesn't need to be big and expensive. It can be a new yoga mat that has a bunch of cute little flowers on it, or those sun glasses you wanted that you just never got around to buying. Just one useful thing that will brighten up your life when you use it. It helps me enjoy life a little again, and every time I use it, I say out loud "I love my new ipad and keyboard!!!". Haha! Drives my husband nuts a little but he knows it makes me happy.

4) Watch cat videos on YouTube

Don't deny that you like to watch funny cat videos online. Cats are cute, they make you laugh, or at least smile while you're watching them, they brighten up your day no matter how shitty it's going. So I found it helpful to watch a few funny animal videos online before going to bed or when I wake up in the morning. Usually I prefer to watch things that I can learn from like Joe Rogan's Podcast, but I've been uninspired, so that's out the window right now. Funny cat videos have taken over my "Recommended" list on YouTube. This is fine, at least it makes me smile and help me reframe my thoughts from negative to positive. So I'll watch all the damn cat videos I need right now until one day soon I hope, I'll want to watch things that make me learn something again. Whatever you do, don't scroll on social media looking at what all your friends are doing and how everyone's pretending to be the perfect family while you're down about life because that'll be the worst scroll ever. I didn't go on social media at all for a few months other than to make that stupid push notification red dot to go away from my home screen. Yes, my kids told me that I can take that off but on a regular day, I don't want to because if someone is trying to connect with me for business, I need to respect an appropriate response time and answer their inquiry in a timely manner, so I keep it on. All this to say go find your funny cat videos on YouTube instead of Facebook & Instagram and enjoy them for as long as you like.

5) Write something

It doesn't have to be a big elaborate article or whatever. Just write something... anything. I wrote a bunch of notes to my sister telling her that I was sad, and I found it helped. I would just ask her not to respond because I had nothing to say after my emotional dump, I just needed a safe place to just say stuff. I'm also writing this for myself and you. You don't need to journal if you don't feel like it. Write a poem to the wild bunny outside or something. Writing gets your brain thinking about words and things other than stupid talk. Write something that could be helpful to someone. What about that recipe you were supposed to share with your aunt, or that thank you note you wanted to send to your hair stylist. Even write a bunch of positive reviews on Google to all the places you've visited last year and meant to review but haven't taken the time to do it yet. Get writing and you'll see you'll feel better because you've just spread positivity in the world and it'll come back to you, just wait and see.

6) Eat well and keep taking your vitamins

This one is super important. Just because your mind isn't feeling well right now doesn't mean that you should cause your whole damn body some harm. Just be good to your body and keep feeding it some good stuff. I promise you'll thank me for this one. Whatever you were eating before you were sad, keep eating that. You still need to take care of yourself as much as possible, so make sure to maintain all those helpful habits. It'll just make you feel good mentally to know that you still love you, even when you're sad.

I hope these tips are helpful to you. Just remember to be nice to yourself because there's nothing wrong with you, you're just unf*cking inspired right now and it's just a phase. Again, I'm not a medical doctor.There's a difference between being sad and uninspired and having depression. If you need to speak to a trained professional, speak to your doctor and/or if you don't have the financial means, go to walk-in therapy. Some are free, check-out the link:


Until the sun shines again...

Coach Rox